Nothing is as it Seems
by The Voice of ther Wind
Summary: Something strange is happening in the Lair and it all evolves around Donatello's death...My fisrt Donatello fanfic so please be gentle. R R please and thank u.
1. Remembrance

**Right down to business. I have no idea where this idea came from, well kinda do but ya know what I mean. Any way hope u enjoy and please review that keeps me motivated to carry on the story. Thanx again**

**I don't own the turtles however I do own Kay and the plot line. Hah.**

''Kay. Come on sleepy head. Time to wake up.'' She felt his hand caressing her face, and his gentle voice coaxing her awake. As she opened her eyes she saw his brown chocolate eyes fill with love, and then he disappeared.

Kay shot up and looked around. She lay in his bed, their bed. She glanced up at the digital clock that stood on the night stand. It was only 5am.

''I love you''. She heard his voice again. She was about to answer when she realised it was the TV coming from the lounge.

''Stupid how could you forget. He's never coming back. Ever''

She felt the sting of tears behind her eyes, but refused to let them fall. Kay lay back down, refusing to go back to sleep. She sighed in defeat. It didn't matter if she was awake or asleep, cause his face kept flashing through her mind. Kay sighed. She turned to lie on her side so that her back faced the wall. Kay closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep. However it was futile. His pillow still carried the smell of coffee and cinnamon He always smelt of cinnamon and coffee. She frowned and turned back to face the wall again. Eventually sleep came to her.

Kay opened her eyes and sat up. Her eyes were red and puffy, but that was to be expected. She bravely glanced up at the clock again. It was nearly eight am. The boys would be getting up soon. Even though they said that she had suffered the most, she didn't agree. They had all suffered and each in their own way. Splinter had lost a son, and a great one at that. Michelangelo had lost a big brother and also his best friend. Leonardo had lost not only his brother but an important member of the team. Raphael had lost his little brother and a friend. And Kay had lost her soul mate.

Tired and frustrated she got up and got dressed. She slipped on a pair of blue jeans, a black t-shirt and trainers. She tired her long ebony hair into a loose pony tail and made her way to the kitchen to start breakfast.


	2. Strange Happenings

**Hello again people. Thank you to everyone that reviewed, they really inspired me.**

**And like I said before I don't own the turtles but if I did it would be awesome. **

**But I don't so yeah. As usual please review and no flames please as I'll rent Raph often you. Lol **

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

As usual Leonardo was the first out of his brothers to wake up. But then he hadn't gotten much sleep. Again. He yawned but when he smelt bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen he frowned.

''Who could be up this early?'' Curious he made his way over to kitchen.

Kay was serving up the last of the bacon onto the frying pan when she heard steps approaching.

Turning she smiled at Leo.

'' Morning Leo'' Leo stared at her. Kay turned her attention back to the frying pan.

''Morning Kay. How'd you sleep?'' She sighed heavily.

'' Better thanks. Take a seat Leo. Breakfasts almost ready.'' She her attention back to her cooking. Kay then felt Leo's arms wrap around her. Why must she do this? Why must she act like everything's alright, when it clearly wasn't? It was his fault that Donatello was gone. If he'd been more alert, more aware, he could have done something. And yet she hadn't blamed him in way, shape or form. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Kay's concerned face until he felt her arms wrap around him. He looked back her. Her eyes were filled with concern, worry and sadness. Leo hugged her tighter.

'' I'm so sorry Kay. I'm so sorry.'' Kay leaned into his embrace and for a moment she imagined herself in back in Donatello's arms. However her dream was shattered when she realised she didn't spell coffee and cinnamon but instead she smelt incense and candle wax. She buried her face into Leo and wept. Leo stroked her head in a comforting jester as silent tears ran down his face.

After a while she pulled back from his embrace. Whipping the tears away with the back of her hand she smiled up at Leo. He smiled back and released her.

'' How about some tea? Sound good?'' Leo smiled and nodded his head in agreement.

'' Yes that sounds great.'' She made her way over to kettle and turned it on.

Leo took a seat at the table and waited. They both sat in comfortable silence until the silence was broken but the sound of footsteps. They both turned to see who was up and about. Michelangelo and Master Splinter came into view.

'' Morning Master Splinter. Leo greeted his father first.

'' Goeie More Master Splinter.'' Splinter smiled at his eldest son and daughter-in-law.

'' Good Morning Kay, Leonardo'' The kettle finished boiling and Kay bought both Leo and Master Splinter their tea. They both thanked her and she turned her attention to Mikey. The young turtle was unusually silent. But that was to be expected. He had just lost his big brother and best friend. Kay placed her hand on his shoulder. Mikey glanced up at her.

'' Mike I need your help with breakfast. Can you please help me lay the table?'' Mikey looked at into her soft green eyes. He could never say no to her, even if he wanted to. He smiled slightly.

'' Sure thing .'' She sighed with relief and turned her attention to serving up breakfast. Master Splinter and Leo shared a knowing look. They both knew that she was trying to keep Mikey's mind busy so that he didn't think about Don. Once the table was laid, Kay started serving up breakfast. There wasn't just bacon and eggs. She had out done herself. There were piles of toast, a huge plate of waffles and a huge bottle of orange juice. Once everything was out everybody started serving themselves. Kay hung back and glanced up in the direction of Raphs room.

'' Leave him Kay, he won't come out.''

She looked back at Mikey and sighed. Raphael had been like this since Donatello's death. He refused to leave his room and if he did it was either to sneak out of the lair and venture topside for a while or to pay his punching bag a much needed visit. He was eating that much she knew because she always left plates of food for him in the fridge and they were always gone the next morning. That much she was grateful for. Kay then took a seat and began serving up her own breakfast.

An hour later plates, cups and trays were busy soaking in the sink. Mikey had been the first to leave, saying he had a headache and had disappeared into his room. Master Splinter had excused himself soon after. Leo had insisted that he help with the dishes but in the end Kay had won the discussion, saying he should go cheer Mikey up and check on Raph.

After he had gone she began the task of drying and packing the dishes away. While she was putting the last plate back into the cupboard, she noticed a stray purple cup had escaped her attention. She sighed and went to pick it up. As she reached for it, she froze. For on the counter, next to the empty coffee machine sat Donatello's coffee mug. He had left it there that fateful morning. Kay refused to move it. She had felt it was too soon. Too soon to accept the fact that her beloved was gone forever, too soon to accept the fact that they would never again here noises coming from his lad. Too soon to accept the fact that they both would never have a family.

Silent tears streamed down her face. She pulled back her hand. She couldn't move the cup, not just yet. Suddenly she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist. Kay gasped as the smell of cinnamon and coffee filled the air.

''Hoekom huil jy my ,dierbare vrou?'' Fresh tears stung at her eyes. He kissed her cheek softly.

'' Don?' She turned around and stared into his eyes. He smiled at her. And then he was gone

_***Why do you crying, my beloved?***_

_**See you all again in the next chapter.**_

_**-The Voice of the Wind.**_


	3. Hope

**Hi again everybody. Sorry about the late chapter being struggling with a major case of writers block! Yes that, the enemy of all writers. Anyway thanks for the reviews but seriously please review. If you don't then there's no point in carrying on with the story. Please it takes 2 seconds.**

**To all those that have reviewed this so far a big thanks and u each get a cookie for your efforts. Those people who haven't. NO COOKIES FOR YOU!**

**Like I said last time, I don't own the turtles, but if I did I would share them with you all Lol.**

**On with the show!**

Casey Jones paced back and forth frantically. April, Don and Leatherhead had disappeared into the lab ages ago and still had not come out.He had offered his assistance but had been told that he would only be in the way. That had been eight hours ago. Casey clenched his fists in frustration. His friends, no his family, were lying on their death beds and he was powerless to do anything. He sighed and let his shoulder's slump. Suddenly the doors to Don's lab opened. Leatherhead appeared, carrying a sleeping April in his arms. He acknowledged Casey's presence with a simple nod and placed April on the couch.

'' If you would be so kind, could you please hand me a pillow Mr. Jones?'' Casey grabbed one from the recliner and handed it back to LH.

'' Thank you my friend.'' He placed it down and gently lowered Aprils head onto it. Leatherhead then proceeded back to the lab, leaving Casey with the sleeping April. He glanced down at her and smiled softly.

She lay on her back with her arms resting at her sides. The bags under her eyes and the tangled hair were the evidence of her devotion to helping her friends. If April was this bad, Casey wondered what Don must look like. Casey covered April with a blanket and headed towards the kitchen. He may not be able to help in the lab, but there certainly was one thing he could do to keep his friends on their feet for a while longer. With encouragement and coffee, lots and lots of coffee.

Donatello stared at his computer screen as if it was the cause of the current situation. He had his elbows resting on top of the desk with his fingers enlaced and a heavy frown covered his features. He turned his gaze away from the screen and to his family. His gaze fell onto Leonardo first. The blue banded turtle lay motionless. However his chest rose and fell steadily thanks to the mask over his face. On the next bed lay Mikey. The young turtle had a slight fever but it had dropped in the last hour, but still needed monitoring. A damp cloth still covered his forehead. On the opposite side of the lab lay Master Splinter and Raphael. They were also hooked up to ventilators and masks covered their faces as well. His eyes then fell onto Kay. Tears filled his eyes but he refused to let them fall. There would be time for crying later - right now he had to focus. He unwillingly returned his gaze to the computer screen.

Leatherhead entered the lab and stood next to Donatello. The purple banded turtle had heavy bags under his eyes and his skin that was usually a beautiful olive green was a shadow of its former self. The gentle giant hated seeing his best friend like this but the young stubborn turtle refused to rest, eat or leave his lab. He sighed. Suddenly Donatello got up and made his way over to Raphael's bedside. He checked his brother's vital signs. Again. He had been doing these three times each hour for each of them. For now Raphael's vital signs were stable. Then he checked on Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Master Splinter and finally he made his way over to Kay's bedside.

He smiled at her sleeping form. Like the others she had a mask over her face and was hooked up to a ventilator. He sat down and took her hand in his.

''Hey honey. I hope you`re ok in there. Listen I need you to hold on just a little longer alright. We're close to figuring out a cure.'' Suddenly Kay's hand grasped his gently and she opened her eyes slowly. Don gasped. Leatherhead heard him and hurried over to his friend's side.

'' Is she conscious Donatello?'' He quickly glanced up at LH, and then returned his gaze back at Kay.

'' I'm not sure Leatherhead.'' He gently squeezed her hand again hoping for a response.

'' Kay can you hear me?'' Her soft blue eyes met his deep chocolate ones. She started muttering under her breath. Then her eyes closed again and the muttering stopped. Her hand went limp in his. Don closed his eyes as tears of frustration slid down his face.

'' Why? Why did this happen Leatherhead?'' The giant crocodile placed his massive hand gently on his friends shoulder.

'' Do not lose faith my friend.'' Suddenly the sound of knocking filled the room. LH left Don and went to answer the door.

Don glanced back down to Kay's sleeping form. He squeezed her hand gently and lowered his head down to whisper in her ear.

'' Ek is lief vir jou'' He placed her hand back down at her side and went back to the computer.

Casey and Leatherhead came in with two cups of coffee. Don was so focused on the screen in front of him that he didn't hear Casey calling him until he shouted the young turtle's name. Don gazed up at his human friend.

'' Hm. Oh hay Casey. Sorry about that I was just ...eh..'' Casey's expression softened.

'' Don't worry 'bout it bro. Here, this'll perk ya right up'' Casey handed Don his cup of coffee. Don took it gratefully.

'' Thanks Casey. How's April?''

'' She's sleepin' now and so should yer two.'' Don and LH glanced at each other from over their cups.

'' Casey we..'' Casey lifted his hand up, signalling for him to stop.

'' Don't worry Don I understand.'' The young turtle smiled gratefully at his friend for his patience and understanding.

'' Right I'll leave ya two to carry on, but if ya need anything just holler, ok?''

'' We will. Thanks Casey'' Leatherhead nodded in agreement.

''Yes thank you Mr Jones. We really appreciate it. Both you and Miss O'Neil have been a great help in our current situation.'' Casey looked at the giant crocodile with a confused expression on his face. Don smirked.

''He said you and April have been a great help so far.'' Casey smiled.

''No problem bro's now I'll leave ya two and go check on April.''

''Casey if you want you can crash in Raph's room. There's extra blankets in his cupboard and a few pillows in Mikey's.''

Casey thanked him and left the lab, closing the door behind him. Don finished the rest of his coffee and went back to work. Leather head placed his cup next to Don's and took a seat beside his friend.

''Leatherhead if you're tired you should rest. I'll manage here.'' He glanced sheepishly up at his mutant friend. Leather head's expression was unreadable however the emotion in his eyes and voice spoke volumes.

'' Donatello my friend, you can't get rid of me that easily and no I do not need rest. However I would not be able to rest with the knowledge that your family and my friends are in their current state. Thanks but no thanks. I am quite happy right here.'' Don smiled at his friend and the two reptiles continued their work later into the night.

**Well thanks for reading and I apologies in advance for the late chapter. Don't know when the next chapters will be up. Thanks again for your reviews faithful readers and hope to see you in future writings.**

**Translations**

_***I love you***_

**The Voice of the Wind**


	4. Reality Check

**Sorry about not updating guy's been really busy. Anyway here's another chappie. Enjoy. **

Raphael lay in his hammock on his side with his arm under his head and the other at his side. Tear stains were evident on his face, but right now he couldn't care less. His mind spun with the events of last week. Once where there had been the sounds of machines working was now silent. Where once there had been a smiling face was now empty. The whole lair was like that. Empty and void. The others had been around but they had all been in their own states of sadness.

Mikey hadn't touched his video games; Leo had spent every waking moment either in the dojo or with Mikey and, Master Splinter hadn't said a word since the accident had happened. And then there was Kay.

She had carried on with life like normal as best she could. She cooked, cleaned and spent time with each of the guys whenever possible. But Raphael knew that she was hurting bad. Even though she cleaned the lair and the dojo she never went near Donny's lab and when she cooked she always cooked Donatello's favourite meals whenever she could. And at night she would silently cry herself to sleep. But at night he heard her. He heard every sob, and when she called out for her beloved in her dreams. His gut clenched at the memories.

_Raphael pulled the pillow over his head trying to keep out Mikey's insane snoring. But that didn't help much to block out the true sound that upset the hothead. Kay's soft crying. Even though she tried suppressing her sobs Raphael's trained ears picked up every sound. He sighed heavily and got up. Silently he made his way over to Don's room. He froze as he reached out for the door handle .From within the room the sobbing stopped and it grew quiet. Raph hesitated for only a moment before opening the door and stepping inside. The room was dark and dingy except for the glowing numbers on the clock beside the bed. Raph sighed heavily as he approached the bed. Through the shadows he could just make out Kay lying under the covers pretending to sleep. He stood over her. _

'' _Kay I know ya ain't sleepin'' He heard her shift as she sat up._

'' _Sorry Raph, I didn't mean to wake you I just couldn't sleep.'' Her voice was heavily and thick with guilt. She pulled the blankets over her and turned to face the wall, turning her back to Raph. She heard the door close softly. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to keep back hot tears. _

_Suddenly she felt a weight next to her and a hand pulled her over, turning her so that she faced him. Raphael could make out her tear filled eyes through the darkness._

'' _I miss him to Kay. We all do and I'm sorry fer being an ass. All I've done is sit round and feel sorry fer myself, thinking I'm alone, when I ain't.'' _

_He clenched his fists in frustration as he continued. _

'' _And then there's ya. Yer so strong, bein' there fer Mikey and the other's, and me. Yer keep us strong Kay and all I do is sit on my butt and do nothin'. I'm sorry Kay. I'm sorry I couldn't save Donnie.''_

_The young sai wielder felt new hot tears streak down his face and his chest clench as more sobs escaped him. Kay couldn't take it anymore and pulled him closer to her. Raphael rested his head against her chest and wept like he was five years old again. Kay held her brother tightly as she tried to control her own tears. Raphael felt her tears fall on his head and pulled back and looked at her. His heart broke and he pulled her into his lap and rubbed comforting circles against her back._

'' _It's alright Kay. Everythin's gonna be ok.''_

_Kay leaned into his embrace and wept her heart out. She wept for her beloved Donatello, for the sadness that gripped the family's heart and she wept for herself. After some time the sobs stopped and Raph felt her rest against him. He wiped the tears from her face and pulled back the covers and lay her down gently, before covering her up once more. He quietly left the room and shut the door behind him._

Raphael got up from his hammock and made his way down to the dojo. He quietly slide the door closed behind him before scanning the room for his punching bag. He smiled and threw the first punch. It swung and he smiled in satisfaction. Raphael continued to assault his poor punching bag as small beads of sweat covered his forehead. His breath was laboured by the time he finished and leaned against the bag tired but satisfied. His stomach growled suddenly, causing Raph to scowl.

'' Shut up''

Raph ignored his protesting stomach and returned to the comfort of his hammock. As his head connected with the pillow he was fast asleep.

'' Raphael''

Raph ignored the voice and turned over on his side and carried on sleeping.

''Raph''

Raph was getting irritated by now. Why couldn't they leave him to rest in peace?

'' Raphie''

He pulled his pillow over his head in an effort to drain out the irritating voice until he heard it again

'' Raphie''

That was it. Raphael sat up and flew his pillow at the intruder.

'' Leave me alone Mikey I ain't in the mood fer one of yer pranks so just-''

His sentence was cut short, for in front of him stood Donatello. Raph's jaw hit the ground at the sight of his immediate baby brother. For once in his life Raphael Hamato was speechless. Don looked at his brother with concern as he stood beside his brother.

'' You ok there Raph?''

'' Donnie is that really you?'' Don smiled.

'' Last time I checked'' He humouredly checked himself over.

'' Yes. I'm still me''

Don glanced back at his brother with a serious look his eye. Donatello was suddenly taken a back when Raph swept him up in a great bear hug.

''Raph?''

Don's eyes widened when he felt his brothers hot tears on the side of his face and returned the jester. He pulled back and held his brother at arm's length and looked at his brother with a serious look in his eye.

''Raph listen to me, none of this is real. It's all a dream.'' Raph frowned in confusion.

'' So this now, us talkin and ya, none of this is real?''

'' No Raph I mean this reality us talking, I mean.'' Don sighed and hung his head in defeat.

'' Raph listen to me. None of this is real. I'll bring you back, all of you I promise.''

Raph frowned as Don began to disappear before his eyes.

'' Donnie? Come back Donnie.''

But Donatello was gone. Raphael fell to his knees and clenched his fists in frustration. Was he going insane? He had just seen and spoken with his dead brother. A sad smile graced his lips as he got up and wiped the tears from his face. That must be it. He'd taken one too many knocks to the head, was a french-fry short of a happy meal, he's lost his marbles. In lumen's terms. He'd gone insane. He glanced back at his hammock as it swung slightly. It was useless to try and sleep not with what just happened. Sighing heavily Raph made his way to his desk and pulled out a candle with a couple of matches from the draw. Settling himself in the lotus position, he lit the candle and placed it in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and settled into a deep meditation.

_In_

_Out_

_In _

_Out_

_Suddenly Raph found himself standing in Donatello's lab. He glanced around trying to make sense of it all when his ember orbs fell onto the sleeping figure in front of him. His eyes widened at the sight and a cold sweat took hold of him. _

'' _Is that...me?''_

_For in front of him lay the sleeping figure of Raphael Hamato_

**Sorry about the cliff hanger.**

**Until next time. Review!**


	5. Important Notice

_**IMPORTANT NOTICE!**_

_**Since the resent lack of inspiration for my Story '' Nothing is as it Seems'' the story will be on hold until further notice, however if you have some good ideas's let me know , PM me your ideas and i choose with ones I like the best and put them in the story. To all those that have reviews thus far I want to say a BIG THNKS to all of you. I haven't forgotten it I just can't seem to move it along. So until then, it will be on hold until further notice. Thanks to all of the amazing reviews for their reviews thus far. **_


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